The Same Place, Over and Over
Our Restaurant in Barranco
THE SAME PLACE, OVER AND OVER
Several years ago, a friend and I started going to the same restaurant every Friday. We also have the same table every time. My friend calls the restaurant to remind them that we want that table at noon every Friday. They are happy to do that.
Some people would say How boring. They would suggest trying out a different restaurant every week to bring a little variety into our lives.
We are not bored. Going back to the same place has certain benefits.
Our servers are usually the same people. We have a good relationship with them. I think it is a pleasure for them to have some regulars. We receive good service and have a pleasant relationship with all the staff, including the manager.
Another advantage is that we know the menu. It never changes. We know what to expect when we order. Of course, being in character, we often order the same things week after week. Sometimes the waiters complete our sentences for us.
Given all these predictables, the focus is on our conversation. We are both Americans, but from different parts of the country. My friend is from Pennsylvania, and I am from California. We are about the same age. We both served in the Peace Corps, a voluntary service organization. He was in rural Peru. I was in Bolivia.
Our conversations are based on a common culture and values. When living in a foreign country, it is useful and pleasant to be able to talk freely about experiences and problems and to get another's opinion. My friend has told me that our time together is one of the most important of his week. It is relaxed, full of humor, and valuable in the exchange of thoughts and opinions.
My friend has thought in advance about our conversations. Usually, he has a list of things he wants to talk about. We bring copies of articles, jokes, and videos: anything we think might interest the other. I know and care about what is going on with his family in the U.S. as he does mine.
Except for this brief time on a Friday, we live in Peru. We speak Spanish and live Peruvian lives. This connection with someone of the same culture and with lots of common experiences is important. We can say things and be understood in a way that is not available to us in our Peruvian lives.
We both love Peru. Even so, it is great to have this respite, a time of relaxation, laughter, and common understanding.
Soon, I will write again about this topic. Instead, I will tell you about another friend who I meet every week for lunch. We never go to the same restaurant. Each week, we alternate choices. I enjoy it. Lesson: To be happy, expatriates need to be flexible, and I am.